Every generation absorbs something from the one before it, then quietly discards what feels outdated. Millennial parents have done a lot right: they talk about mental health more openly, share parenting responsibilities more equitably, and generally put more conscious thought into how they raise their kids. Nearly nine in ten millennial parents say their parenting style is different from how they were raised, and roughly three in four believe they are doing a better job than their own parents did. That confidence isn’t always misplaced.
Still, in the effort to course-correct from their own childhood experiences, millennial parents have sometimes overshot in ways that create new blind spots. Gen X parents, shaped by a more hands-off upbringing and a deeply practical worldview, carried a few lessons forward that are increasingly relevant today.
1. Boredom Is Not a Problem to Fix
1. Boredom Is Not a Problem to Fix (Image Credits: Pexels)
In many modern households, children’s lives are filled with structured activities and constant stimulation. Between organized sports, extracurricular programs, and digital entertainment, children often have fewer opportunities for unstructured time. While these activities can be beneficial, they can also reduce the amount of time children spend initiating their own play. Gen X parents grew up in a world that simply did not schedule every waking hour, and many of them recognized the value of that gap.
According to research from the Child Mind Institute published in 2024, a child’s ability to solve problems can be greatly enhanced by boredom. Unstructured time encourages children to do self-directed activities like creating games, building things, or thinking of new ideas. Boredom is not a failure; it is a starting point. When children have to figure out what to do next, they learn to tolerate discomfort, think creatively, and solve small frustrations independently. A Time magazine poll found that roughly half of Gen Xers thought their friends’ children participated in too many activities, while only about a third of millennials felt that kids had too much on their plate.
2. Letting Kids Fail Is Part of the Job
2. Letting Kids Fail Is Part of the Job (Image Credits: Pixabay)
Millennials were raised in the era of the participation trophy, meaning they were celebrated just for showing up and trying their best. While that mentality had some positive attributes, it also taught millennials to be scared of failure, which is a lesson they have carried into how they raise their own children. Gen X parents, who largely grew up without that safety net, understood intuitively that failure was instructional rather than something to shield children from.
Trying tasks over and over is what leads kids to master their own abilities, which is a lesson they miss out on if their parents don’t model the importance of sticking with hard things. By saving their kids from possible failures, millennial parents can essentially teach them to give up. Building resilience by learning to self-navigate failure, stress, and conflict in childhood play is perceived as an important marker for lifelong independent threat navigation and conflict awareness. Watching a child struggle is uncomfortable, but stepping back is often the more useful choice.
3. Self-Sufficiency Requires Practice, Not Just Praise
3. Self-Sufficiency Requires Practice, Not Just Praise (Image Credits: Unsplash)
One meaningful lesson millennial parents are often not teaching their kids is how to be self-sufficient. Millennials have a tendency toward helicopter parenting, meaning they are over-attentive in a way that can be detrimental to their kids’ development. While parents should absolutely meet their kids’ emotional and practical needs, it is equally important for kids to learn to do certain tasks on their own. Because millennial parents sometimes don’t teach self-sufficiency, their children can become dependent in ways that hinder their ability to meet their own needs later in life.
Gen X kids often had little choice but to figure things out. A 2024 study published in Frontiers found that overcontrolling parents led to worse outcomes, while parents who provide structure and support while allowing some autonomy bring healthier results. The difference isn’t neglect, it is trust. Trusting a child to handle age-appropriate challenges, whether that means making their own lunch, resolving a conflict with a friend, or figuring out a bus route, builds the kind of internal confidence that no amount of parental scaffolding can replicate.
4. Modeling Screen Habits Matters More Than Setting Rules
4. Modeling Screen Habits Matters More Than Setting Rules (Image Credits: Pexels)
A survey sponsored by Common Sense Media found that parents spend as much time in front of screens as teens and tweens, and roughly four-fifths of that time is for pleasure, not work. Gen X parents, who came of age in an analog world and watched the internet arrive as adults, have often maintained a more skeptical distance from screens than their millennial counterparts. Millennials came of age in a transitional time, straddling a line between the analog and digital world, and that familiarity with technology has made it harder for some of them to model the restraint they wish their children would show.
A study published in 2024 found that one of the strongest predictors of a child’s screen time is a parent’s screen time. If parents are glued to their screens during family dinners or constantly checking their phones, they send a mixed message. Parents who want to create healthier habits should honestly evaluate their own technology use and consider how it aligns with the values and boundaries they want to set for their family. Rules without modeling rarely stick. Children learn far more from what they see than from what they are told.
None of this is a case for going back to a tougher or less emotionally aware era of parenting. The gap between the generations is more specific than that: it is the difference between protecting children from discomfort and preparing them for it. The most useful lessons from Gen X parenting are less about being harder on kids and more about trusting them with a little more than feels comfortable.