Everyone’s met someone who says “sorry,” but somehow makes things worse. This is because not all apologies are created equal, and while some of them sound like apologies, if you look closer, they’re anything but. Let’s look at 18 apologies that aren’t really apologies.
“I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”
This one is easily the most common kind of non-apology, as the person is saying that they’re sorry you’re upset, but not a word about what actually caused it. They’re not saying they did anything wrong. Instead, they’re just acknowledging that you had a reaction, which ends the conversation without fixing anything. They can walk away feeling like they were polite, while you’re still likely feeling confused.
“If I Offended Anyone, I Apologize”
You’ll hear this sentence after someone says something that’s completely out of line. The “if” is doing a lot here and suggests that the offense is up for debate. But it usually isn’t. After saying this, the person who said it will try to quickly change the topic or talk about moving forward. They don’t want to talk about what exactly was said or done, because that might require actually taking responsibility.
“I’m Sorry, But I Was Just Being Honest”
Honesty’s great and all, but this one doesn’t fix any hurt that your words may have caused. Anybody who says this one is unlikely to be sorry, but rather, they’re just being defensive. They’ll say it after saying something blunt or harsh, but they don’t want to take the time to consider their words. Nope, they decided to double down. They’re using honesty as an excuse for being unkind.
“Sorry You Took It the Wrong Way”
An apology like this one flips the script, as it takes the focus away from what was said. Instead, it’s now about how you heard it, as if the person who said it didn’t do anything wrong, you just heard it badly. It turns the whole conversation into a debate about tone or interpretation. Eventually, you’ll end up defending your reaction, rather than discussing what actually happened in the first place.
“I’m Sorry If That Came Across As Rude”
The wording in this sentence is what really makes it so fake. Saying, “came across as” avoids any sense of real responsibility, and it suggests that nothing’s being owned here. It suggests the problem isn’t with what they said, but that you misread it. There’s no real effort to sort out the mess that they’ve made. They’ve just given you a vague statement that doesn’t lead to any follow-up.
“Sorry, I Didn’t Mean to Upset You”
Intentions don’t erase outcomes, and just because someone didn’t mean to do something doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. They want you to forgive them for not having bad intentions, yet they don’t talk about actually fixing the issue. In saying this, they’ve quickly ended the conversation. And they’ve done it without dealing with what actually needs to be addressed.
“Apologies For Any Inconvenience”
You’ll hear this one during those awkward customer service emails after the company lost your package or your flight was canceled. Yes, it’s polite, but it’s also rather vague and robotic. There’s no name and no detail, nor any sign of an actual human. It’s simply a pre-written message that tries to close the complaint while avoiding the reason behind it. Nobody wants to hear an apology that sounds so fake.
“Sorry For Whatever I Did”
Someone who says this clearly doesn’t know what they’re apologizing for, and they’re also not that interested in finding out. There’s no context or any effort. They don’t even care about what actually upset you. Instead, they’re just hoping that saying this will keep you quiet, and that they might even get some credit for being mature. But it doesn’t work.
“I’m Sorry You Can’t Take a Joke”
A sentence like this always comes after someone makes a joke that didn’t go down well. Rather than pausing, they turn around and blame you for not laughing. They’ll also make some kind of comment about you being too serious. In doing so, they don’t take ownership of any responsibility, and the joke just hangs there, which allows them to walk away feeling clever. You’re left thinking you’re the problem now.
“I Said Sorry, Can We Move On?”
Saying something like this isn’t meant to clear the air, but rather, allow them to get out of the room. You could bring up how something made you feel, and they’re already prepared to end the conversation. They said “sorry,” and they think that’s everything sorted, but it’s not. You know it, and they know it, but still. They’re done.
“Sorry, I Was Just in a Bad Mood”
As soon as you bring something up, they’ll apologize and say it was because they were just in a bad mood. That’s it. That’s the whole explanation. There’s no acknowledgment of what they actually did or said, and they act like their bad reaction just happened, without them actually doing anything. You’re supposed to take that one sentence and move on, which is just completely unfair.
“Sorry, That’s Just How I Am”
A sentence like this one feels as though it’s ending things mid-conversation. Rather than apologizing, they’re announcing that they’re not changing, and this is your warning. It sounds rather final. While it might be a short sentence, it carries a ton of weight, and what they’re telling you is that you’re not getting anything else from them. They’re done pretending they care about fixing this.
“My Bad”
“My bad” is one of the quickest apologies, and that’s why it’s so terrible. It’s quick and casual, something people say with a half-smile or a head tilt. Yes, it works for small stuff, like bumping into someone or forgetting to text back, but not once emotions are involved. This one doesn’t even touch the surface when it comes to something serious. There’s no pause or no follow-up, and definitely no real ownership.
“Sorry For the Mix-Up”
Anytime that people want to avoid saying that they made a mistake, they’ll simply claim it was a “mix-up.” It stops them from mentioning any names or explaining anything. This vague phrase is meant to be enough. Unfortunately, it’s not clear what the issue was. Was it a missed deadline or the wrong file? An entire project that went wrong? Nobody knows, and anyone who says this isn’t going to clear things up for you.
“I Apologize If I Came Off As Rude”
This one sounds formal and polite, but it doesn’t really mean much. It’s the kind of sentence someone might share in a group chat to look like they care, without actually owning anything, and that “if” does a lot of heavy lifting. It leaves just enough space to allow someone to share that they weren’t rude, but apparently thought so. And just because it’s worded nicely, it’s hard to call out.
“I’m Sorry, But I Didn’t Know It Would Upset You”
People say this when they’re confused that you even brought the problem up, as they’re supposedly confused that it even bothered you. They’ll say they’re sorry, but then immediately follow it up with why they think your reaction was unexpected, which is the focus for them. It’s not what they said or how it landed, just your reaction. As such, they’re able to avoid fixing anything so they can stop feeling awkward and move the topic somewhere else.
“Sorry, But I Didn’t Do Anything Wrong”
Don’t get too excited when you hear a “sorry” like this one because it’s simply there for decoration. The real message is in the second part, and this is the kind of line people use when they want to end the conversation without losing face. They want you to drop it. At the same time, they also want to look like the bigger person, except they’re not actually taking any responsibility.
“I’m Sorry You Misunderstood Me”
While you’re in the middle of explaining why something they said really hit a nerve, they choose not to listen, and instead come back with this. Now, the problem is that you messed up by not reading their mind, because they’ll act like their wording was crystal clear. Even if it absolutely wasn’t. It means that you end up explaining yourself when really, it should be them.
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