Modern dads just can’t catch a break. They’re complimented for “helping out,” and then ridiculed for not doing enough of it. They’re supposed to be emotionally available but not too emotional, hands-on but not “soft.” While moms are (rightfully) cheered on for doing it all, dads get side-eyed for even trying it. The reality? Society still has not revised its parenting script – and dads are always stuck in its contradictions. Here are eight things modern fathers get unfairly shamed for, while moms get a free pass.
Being a Stay-At-Home Dad By Choice
People will always ask a stay-at-home dad if he’s between jobs or planning to return to work soon, while others start wondering if his wife pushed him into it. But it’s his choice. Maybe he just wants to spend more time with his kids, or maybe he’s not interested in going back into the rat race. Either way, stay-at-home moms are rarely asked to justify their choice, yet dads get treated like they’re doing something strange. It’s their own decision to do as they please.
Asking for “Me Time”
When mothers take brunch or spa days, it’s “self-care.” When fathers do it, it’s “escaping.” Fatherhood is not sacrificing your whole identity. And yet men who value rest or hobbies are vilified as neglectful. Perhaps both parents should be viewed as complete humans, not solely providers and caregivers.
Taking Paternity Leave
When mothers go on maternity leave, it’s expected. When fathers do, it’s questioned. “What exactly are you going to do at home?” literally, this is what they ask them – as if newborn babies only respond to estrogen. The truth is, daddy-baby bonding hours are also essential. And still, we culturally commodify it as a luxury rather than what it actually is: responsible parenting.
Dressing the Kids “Wrong”
If a mother tosses her child in mismatching socks, it’s “real life parenting.” If the father does the same, it’s “he has no clue what he’s doing.” Remember that dads are also parents, not babysitters. A rumpled onesie is not the proof of incompetence – it’s proof that he got everyone dressed by 8 a.m. and didn’t set the house on fire.
Not Knowing Every Tiny Detail
Ask a dad the name of his kid’s teacher or shoe size, and if he hesitates, the judgment is instant. Meanwhile, moms forget stuff all the time and get an empathetic “you’ve got so much on your plate!” Dads are expected to know everything and stay chill about it – basically, a parent like a computer with a smile.
Being the Fun Parent
When moms get the kids ice cream at 9 p.m., it is cute. When dads do, it is “irresponsible.” Dads get labeled as the irresponsible parent for simply being fun. The irony? That same spontaneity and enthusiasm is the same that creates memories – but heaven forbid if a dad lets the bedtime slip once.
Talking About Feeling Tired From Parenting
Dads aren’t really allowed to say they’re tired from parenting, and the second it comes out of their mouth, someone’s making a joke about how “hard” two hours with a toddler really is. But he might’ve been up all night with a sick kid or chasing a teething baby around the living room. It doesn’t matter, though, because as soon as people hear him complaining about being exhausted, they respond as if he insulted every mom on Earth.
Asking Another Parent For Advice
Some dads genuinely want to know what works for other parents, and they’ll ask questions to do this. They’re not trying to make a scene. It’s just that they want to know how you get your kid to eat broccoli without making things too difficult. Unfortunately, that’s good enough for some people. They’ll say things like, “Why don’t you ask your wife?” or even ask, “You don’t know?” like parenting is some kind of test. Moms asking other moms is completely fine, though.
18 Habits Men Should Give Up After Marriage
For men, it implies giving up old customs in favor of new ones that will help them live in prized harmony. Here are hit-and-miss entries for the things that men are advised to part with after marriage.
18 Habits Men Should Give Up After Marriage