Let’s be honest: your parents messed you up—or enabled you to thrive. Whether you had hovering helicopters or free-wheeling “do whatever” philosophies while growing up, your confidence (or lack of it) didn’t happen by accident. Yep, it all traces back to how Mom and Dad did things. Here’s how different parenting styles influenced your adult confidence—for better or worse.
The Perfectionist Parent: “Is That an A? Why Not an A+?”
Growing up with perfectionist parents is a double-edged sword: you’ve got high standards—but also a crippling fear of failure. You’re the adult who can’t hit “send” on an email without reading it 17 times. Your self-worth is contingent on performance, and unless you’re perfect, you feel terrible. Fun, right?
The Overprotective Parent: “The World Is Dangerous!”
Your overprotective parents shielded you from germs, bullies, and even life itself. Now, you can’t risk anything because you’ve learned the world is terrifying. Your confidence? It is shaky at best unless you are in your comfort zone.
The Encouraging Parent: “You Got This!”
If your parents nurtured you without expecting perfection, you possess that rare balance of confidence and modesty. You believe in yourself, but don’t collapse when things go south. In essence, you’re that balanced unicorn that everybody secretly envies.
The Helicopter Parent: Always Watching, Always Hovering
If your parents were helicopter parents who shadowed you like a missioned drone, you probably learned to see mistakes as the enemy. Now you overthink every decision and flee from failure like the plague. Yeah, you’re successful, but that inner voice always says, What if I fail? What if I disappoint someone? Confidence? More like a high-functioning anxiety spiral.
The Free-Range Parent: “Go Play in Traffic!”
Were your parents completely relaxed, letting you go wild like a beast? Congratulations—you probably picked up independence in a jiffy. But here’s the downside: sometimes you can’t help but wonder if anyone cares what you’re doing at all. Confidence? No issue. But a secret longing to be approved of? You bet.
The Emotionally Supportive Parent: Feel Your Feelings
If your parents let you be yourself without judgment, you probably have unshakeable confidence today. You’re the one who sets boundaries and doesn’t buckle under pressure. Emotional intelligence? Through the roof. But watch out—you might judge others who are less self-aware.
The “Cool Parent”: More Friend Than Authority
If your parents tried to be your best friend instead of setting boundaries, you probably have great stories but also no idea how to handle criticism. You’re confident. Until someone questions your choices. Then it’s a full-blown existential crisis.
The Neglectful Parent: “Wait, You Needed Me?”
If your parents were emotionally unavailable, you learned to do everything on your own—but at the cost of self-worth. You might look confident and independent, but on the inside, you’re wondering, “Am I even worth noticing?” Spoiler: You are. But therapy helps.
Gentle Parenting: The Emotionally Intelligent Adult
If your parents talked to you in emotions instead of yelling or punishing you, you are one of the lucky ones. Gentle parenting raises adults who trust their feelings, communicate well, and aren’t afraid to be vulnerable. Confidence is sure because you learned that mistakes are a way of growing up—not a reason to feel worthless.
The Strict Authoritarian: “Because I Said So!”
With authoritarian parents, rules ruled. You didn’t have a voice growing up, so now you either tremble at authority or become a rebel without a cause. Confidence? Only if you’re in control—otherwise, you’re waiting for someone to bark orders at you.
The Praise-For-Everything Parent: “You’re AMAZING!”
If you got a gold star for breathing, your self-esteem might be a house of cards. Alright, you were raised to think you were the best, but now criticism in the real world destroys you. You expect applause for everything, and when it doesn’t come? Total meltdown.
The Competitive Parent: “Be Better Than Everyone Else”
Parents who turned everything into a competition raised adults who either thrive on winning or collapse under pressure. You’ve got confidence only when you’re winning, but what if someone else is better than you? Hello, crippling insecurity.
The Critical Parent: “You Could’ve Done Better”
Nothing ever met these parents’ expectations. You are your own worst critic as an adult, and your self-esteem is nothing unless you are killing it. And even if you are, then you are sitting there thinking, “Could I have done more? Is this enough? Is somebody going to criticize me?” The answer is no. Relax.
The Absentee Parent: “Wait, Where’s Dad?”
If one or both of your parents were physically or emotionally absent, you might have abandonment issues that ruin your confidence. Trusting yourself—and other people—is a constant battle. But you know what? You’ve learned how to survive, and that in itself is a superpower.
The “Figure It Out Yourself” Parent: The Hyper-Independent but Insecure Adult
If your parents forced you to do everything on your own, you probably hate asking for help. You’re self-sufficient, sure, but terrified to fail because failing means no help. Confidence? It’s a front because, deep down, you’re always waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under you.
The “Golden Child” Dynamic: You Were the Favorite… or Not
If you were the golden child, you might have false confidence from being constantly praised. And if you were the forgotten sibling, your confidence is probably buried somewhere deep. In both situations, family dynamics persist, and it takes decades to shake them—and maybe a few therapy sessions.
How Your Childhood Shapes Every Relationship You’ll Ever Have
How your parents treated you, the amount of love (or lack thereof) you received, and even disastrous family dinners all played a lasting role in your life. Let’s see how your childhood subtly controls every relationship you’ll ever have.
How Your Childhood Shapes Every Relationship You’ll Ever Have
18 Things Your Parents Taught You That Were Totally Wrong
From outdated life lessons to straight-up myths, there’s a lot we were taught as kids that turned out to be total nonsense. It is time to unlearn the lies and upgrade your mindset (like a real grownup). Here, we’ll call out 19 things your parents told you that were completely wrong.
18 Things Your Parents Taught You That Were Totally Wrong