Many Boomers and Gen Xers grew up thinking that their family trees would simply keep expanding. They predicted that they’d have kids, grandkids, the whole thing, in the future. But Gen Z has been quite upfront about their feelings. Many of them simply don’t plan on having kids at all. So why are the older generations so mad that Gen Z doesn’t want any more branches on the tree? Let’s find out.
Who we’re talking about.
The U.S. fertility rate has fallen to around 1.7 births per woman, and that’s a cause for concern. Experts say that the birth rate needs to be around 2.1 to keep the population steady without help from other countries. Declining birth rates are happening at the same time that many under 50s have said they’re unlikely to have children at all.
What the numbers say
One of the biggest issues is that Gen Z just doesn’t want to become parents. National surveys have found that more adults under the age of 50 have said they’re not planning to have children now. Some of them aren’t going to have them ever. Another study found that one-fifth of American adults claim to be childfree by choice.
Quite a few people without children made the decision not to have one rather early. For these people, it was something they decided in their early 20s, around about the same age that Gen Z is right now.
Why Gen Z says “no thanks” to continuing the family line
So why is Gen Z rejecting parenthood? It’s down to several factors, including money and housing. This is a generation that’s currently struggling with the cost of living, so raising a child is only going to cause them more financial issues. Gen Z is also worried about the environmental consequences of having children.
We also can’t forget about the mental load that comes with parenting. Many young adults are already stressed and burnt out, meaning that the idea of adding another person to that mix is just too much. Gen Z isn’t necessarily putting off parenthood as much as they are rejecting it outright.
How parents react when adult children choose to stay childfree
Gen Z’s choice to be parent-free is causing issues with the older generations. Numerous studies have tracked how parents feel when their grown children avoid typical milestones. They found that parents have rather strong reactions, including anger and frustration. Some even felt embarrassment.
Lots of older generations feel these intense emotions when they find out that their adult child has chosen not to have kids. One long-term study of parents with childfree adult children found that the parents felt both frustrated and ashamed. Why? Because they saw having children as a normal expectation.
Why grandchildren matter so much to many Boomers
Part of the issue comes from what Boomers expected their adulthood to look like. They grew up hearing many relatives talk about the feeling of being a grandparent, and about how it was such a meaningful moment for them. Lots of older adults spoke about becoming a parent as though it were part of their identity. Because it was.
Older generations have described feeling a sense of loss or sadness when they realize that they’re unable to experience the role of becoming a grandparent. It’s not something Boomers want to deal with. Hearing that they may not get grandchildren makes them feel rather blindsided.
Some Parents feel their parenting sacrifices aren’t going anywhere
Another problem is that some parents feel that they’ve put a lot into raising kids without getting anything back. The average cost of raising a single child in the U.S. until they’re 17 years old is around $300K, once you factor in housing costs and inflation.
Many parents are still wiring money to their grown kids every month, with some surveys suggesting that they send around $1,400 on average. But it doesn’t seem like they’ll see returns on this funding. They’re worried about who will look after them once they retire, and since they already stretched their budget once, the idea that the family stops with their kids is too much to bear.
Social expectations about grandkids make the frustration louder
People in their 40s will understand how frustrating it is to be asked about kids and then grandkids. Most people assume that there’s a happy story there. However, organizations that work with ageing adults without grandchildren argue that it’s hard for these people to explain the situation every time it comes up.
Low birth rates create more families that simply don’t have any grandkids at all. It forces parents to deal with relatives passing around photos at family gatherings while they’re forced to accept the fact that their own adult kids plan to stay childfree.
There’s a clear mismatch between social expectations and personal reality. Who knows what the future will hold?