The ’80s were a crazy ride — big hair, neon everything, and things in our houses that made absolutely no sense at all yet somehow felt so right. If you didn’t have at least 10 of these, were you even alive during that time? From weird gadgets to fashion disasters, we proudly rocked, here are 17 things literally EVERYBODY owned in the ’80s – and yep, they were all a bit unhinged… for all the right reasons.
The Transparent Landline Phone
You weren’t cool unless you had a phone that appeared to hail from a radioactive jellyfish. Transparent plastic landlines with exposed wires were a look — even if you only made a call to your BFF and hung up when you got your crush.
A Swatch Watch (or Twelve)
One wasn’t enough. You needed one for every mood, outfit, and pseudo-emergency. And bonus points if you piled them on your wrist like some crazy rainbow Rolex affair. Practical? No way. Iconic? Absolutely.
A Cassette Tape You’d Rewind With a Pencil
Each house had that single pencil set aside for cassette surgery. If your Walkman devoured your Mixtape Vol. 3, you became a DIY sound technician in minutes. This pre-Spotify drama—just with blood, sweat, and rolls of rage.
The Legendary Trapper Keeper
If you didn’t keep school supplies within a neon, overadorned Trapper Keeper, you were instantly at the bottom of the class food chain. This snapped shut like a bear trap and shouted, “I’m here to color-code my chaos.”
A Rolodex Full of… Absolutely Nothing Useful
Even if you were only 12, there must’ve been a Rolodex somewhere within your home. And no, it did contain nothing important — only arbitrary cards, scribbled numbers, and every now and then entry for “Pizza Hut.” It made you feel so grown-up.
A VHS Rewinder (Because Your VCR Was Too Precious)
VCRs were sacred, so you didn’t want to wear them out by rewinding tapes. In came the strangely necessary VHS rewinder, usually car-shaped, because why not? You were cool if you owned one. You were legendary if it was speedy.
The Rainbow-Coloured Slinky You Regret Stretching
Each of us had one. Each of us overstretched it. And you were left with a knotty metal disaster that somehow cost your parents $7. Nevertheless, watching it walk perfectly down the stairs? Peak serotonin.
An 800lb Television Made Of Wood
This was not a TV — it was a piece of furniture. Half of your living room was around this monster. The screen was minuscule, yet the box was about the size of a subcompact car. And yes, you actually had to stand up to switch channels.
A Boombox That Needed 40 D Batteries
You carried it like a badge of honour, even if it was a bit heavier than you. The heavier it thumped, the cooler you were. And nothing shouted “badass” so loudly as slinging it over a shoulder and heading nowhere.
A Basket Full of Cassette Tapes You Never Labelled
Each time you popped one in, it was a gamble. Was it Madonna? Was it a recording of a fart contest with a cousin? Who knows? And rewinding over and over and over until you find the exact song? A full-time job.
A Corded Phone With a 12-Foot Twisted Cord
There were the wall phones, first. And that cord? Ran all the way from the kitchen directly into your sibling’s bedroom—and ALWAYS knotted into a disaster, looking like a Spaghetti mess. Privacy? If you pulled the entire unit into a closet and spoke softly.
The Lava Lamp that Took 3 Hours to Do Anything
You’d turn it on, look at it for an hour… nothing. Wait a while, do something else, go back, and it would just be having its little globby party. Sort of like mood lights for kids who thought that they were witches.
The Rubik’s Cube, which Ended Up In a Sock Drawer
We all had one. No one solved it. It became so twisted and wobbly, you just abandoned it and relegated it to a drawer with snapped pencils and stale gum. It even looked intellectual, so there’s that.
The Fridge Covered with Garfield Magnets
Why were all refrigerators during the ’80s a shrine to a lazy cartoon cat who despised Mondays? Double points if a piece of paper held by your magnets expressing a passive-aggressive note about leftovers. Garfield was essentially a family pet emotional support animal… with a magnetic personality.
Noid Figurine with Pizza Box Deal
Why did Domino’s turn us all crazy for a red goblin who destroyed pizza? Who knows. Every ’80s household had something Noid-themed — a toy, a magnetic strip, a t-shirt — as if it would be cool to be a fan of a destroyer of pizzas.
Jelly Shoes That Destroyed Your Feet but Looked Cute AF
These were torture tools made out of plastic. They stung at the back of your heels, blistered you, and made you sweat so intensely — yet were glittery and cute, which is all that counted. Pain? Absolutely worth it.
That Nasty Orange Tupperware That All Mums Own
You know the one. Brilliant orange, irretrievably smeared with spaghetti sauce, and you can never open it without food going everywhere in the room. Most likely, it is still sitting in your mum’s cupboard today. Scientists will now need to study it—it will probably outlast mankind.
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