I figured that packing up my apartment and moving home would be temporary. I thought it’d be a quick stop before I worked out where I’d go next. What I didn’t expect were the little things that caused all kinds of issues/ And I wish someone had told me about them. I’m going to stop you from making the same mistakes I did.
The first morning back
My first day home started with me realizing my parents have a specific way of doing their mornings, down to the minute. For example, they programmed their coffee maker to turn on exactly at 7:10. But I usually wake up at 06:30. My dad also takes his shower right after he has a coffee, even though that’s the time that I need to have one.
Living by myself, I’d become used to having quiet mornings. That sense of calm almost entirely disappeared by the first sunrise I experienced back in my parents’ home. I wish someone had reminded me that my schedule had to change. It would’ve made adapting to my parents’ schedule much easier.
House rules aren’t suggestions
It’s a weird feeling when you’re told at thirty years old to “take your shoes off in the house.” I’d forgotten all about the rules that my parents had, including how their thermostat settings are sacred and that the dishwasher has a correct loading pattern. Apparently, my car blocking the mailbox is a federal offense that I’d failed to remember.
It was funny at first. But then I realized that they’d been living this way for years. Their rules were a kind of system, rather than a negotiation, and I have to remember the way they like everything. Nobody told me that the faster I accepted their rules, the calmer the days got.
Caregiving happens without trying
The caregiving side of moving back started small. I grabbed my mom’s prescription when I ran errands. But then it involved helping my dad with online bill payments and fixing his printer. They never “assigned” me these jobs. They were just things that naturally happened as a result of moving back home.
Living with my parents again made me realize that they’re aging, one errand at a time. I didn’t even notice I was taking on these extra tasks sometimes. However, it didn’t exactly feel like caretaking. But that didn’t make it any easier.
Mental health check
The first month was definitely the hardest because it felt like a mix of comfort & claustrophobia. I’d forgotten how much background noise houses normally have, as I was used to my apartment. It took me a while to stop feeling “on edge” from all the activity.
In fact, I started going for walks after dinner just so that I could get my brain back to a sense of quiet. I wish someone had told me how normal it is to experience mood shifts during the first few weeks of moving back. It would’ve made it easier for me to notice these changes in myself. Eventually, having a routine managed to balance these feelings out. But it wasn’t instant.
Dating and privacy aren’t simple
People like to joke about dating while living at home being difficult. It was actually far more complicated than I expected. My parents aren’t exactly strict. They’re just around, and that means any phone calls I have feel public because they can hear my voice through the walls.
Bringing someone over was nearly impossible. Even trying to leave the house quietly for a later dinner was more difficult than I ever expected it to be. I found myself cutting plans short or avoiding them entirely, just so I didn’t have to deal with a dozen questions.
My sense of privacy disappeared almost entirely, too. Yes, my parents knock on my bedroom door, but usually only once they’re halfway through. They’ll also open packages by “accident” and read my mail before realizing it’s mine.
This move isn’t rare
But it’s not all negative. I used to think moving back home was a step backward, yet after looking around, I realized that my friends were doing the exact same thing. Some chose to move back while they were saving for houses. Others wanted to switch jobs. One friend needed a break from paying extortionate rent prices.
Seeing so many of my peers move back made me realize that it’s not strange. It’s simply something people don’t always talk about out loud. I wish someone had told me how normal being a boomerang kid truly is.
Story by Anonymous