Ever notice how some companies act like bad boyfriends? They just drain you, gaslight you, and then offer free pizza to make it all better. The modern workplace has become adept at keeping employees entirely miserable while ensuring that they do not leave the company.
It’s not always the pay. It’s the psychology. Here is how employers convince smart, fully capable employees to stay in jobs that make them unhappy while making them feel lucky to be there.
The False Hope of Promotion
You are “next in line” for a promotion this time for sure. “Just hang in there and be patient.” And each month, then each year, you remain in limbo, hoping for a promotion in exchange for running on fumes and taking on additional work for invisible raises. And finally… if (ever) you actually receive the promotion, it is just a title change… no additional pay. “Congratulations, you are now the senior overworked employee.”
“We’re Like Family”
When companies say something like “we’re family here,” there is an element of emotional manipulation to that; families don’t write each other up for being five minutes late – that is simply a tactic to guilt you into not having boundaries or asking for fairly compensated work. Eventually, after you are an insulated part of the role, you’re too invested in the idea to say “no” or ask for what you know you deserve.
Praise Instead of Pay
Nothing snags you more and keeps you stuck in a company faster than a steady diet of compliments combined with no pay increase. “You’re invaluable.” Feels good, right? Until you realize that this is a much better deal for the company than increasing your pay. Companies will shower you with compliments as a distraction from the fact that your role hasn’t been re-evaluated in 3 years. While some recognition and validation feel good, it doesn’t help you pay rent.
The “Flexible” Trap
“Work whenever you want” sounds like freedom, but before you know it, it actually means “you work always.” Flexibility is code for no boundaries for hours on the clock, unpaid overtime, and quiet expectations that you’ll always be reachable outside of working hours. Even on weekends. This is not flexibility. Because real flexibility never demands that you sacrifice your personal life.
Fear-Based Job Security
There is just enough mention of layoffs that it keeps you on the edge. Fear is a great motivator to keep people compliant. They may pay you less, give you more work, and give you no recognition of your work – so you can “keep your spot.” Your job does not provide you with a performance-based culture, but rather a culture that promotes fear – being silent feels safer than making any inquiries.
Promotions that Still Pay You Nothing
Ah, the “title promotion” – new responsibility, no increase in pay. Companies want to reward loyalty with titles, trying to convince you that the title alone is worth the lack of monetary compensation. They will use terms like “Lead” or “Senior,” “Associate-Plus,” or any other ridiculous phrase to avoid giving a raise. This is professional gaslighting, which adds a sweet bonus of a new title on LinkedIn.
The Illusion of Perks
Free snacks. A ping pong table. Casual Fridays. All of which feel nice until you realize the company still isn’t paying you remotely comparable compensation. Companies will pay a lot more for bean bags than they ever will for your benefits, because comfort tricks your brain into believing you are valued. A granola bar isn’t going to pay your bills; it only keeps you “happy” enough not to have to question your low wage.
Performance Review That Keeps Moving The Goal Posts
You put in the effort to meet your goals, yet there is always one more thing to do. You never heard a “Good job,” “Amazing,” “You’re Doing Great,” but always a “We expect more next quarter.” And, so it keeps you chasing whatever it is, and there still isn’t a sense of relief. At this point, this is not feedback anymore, but control hiding behind “growth.”
The Guilt Trip in Disguise for Gratitude
“We are lucky to have you!” That sounds cute, right? And it is, until it is used as a leash. Soon enough, the gratitude becomes guilt – you can’t take time off, you can’t ever say no, because they “need” you. Now the company is using your loyalty against you, and you are simply working not out of passion, but out of guilt.
Things Your Boss Does That May Sound Polite but Aren’t
What sounds “nice” at times is really calculated manipulation. If you ever catch yourself walking away from a “polite” remark feeling low-keyed played, you are not dreaming (really). Here’s what those suave movements might actually mean.
Things Your Boss Does That May Sound Polite but Aren’t