Every December, quite a few parents talk about how they’re “canceling Christmas,” and it always sounds a lot more serious than it really is. The truth is, most of them are still going to celebrate it in some way, although it might be a little muted. But it’s a real threat from some parents. One story of a mom who said she’s canceling Christmas has led to several other parents doing the same. But how? And why? Let’s find out.
The viral “cancel Christmas” post
The post that started the debate was by a woman named Dawn. She shared a TikTok where she claimed that her kids had become so entitled that she decided to pull the plug on the holiday as a consequence.
Dawn argued that Christmas was something that her kids had to earn. According to her, they hadn’t worked hard enough to earn it, so the entire holiday was canceled. However, that’s not to say that the date disappeared from the calendar. It simply involved removing the fun part of Christmas, like the presents and the effort.
The breaking-point
Dawn didn’t stay silent about what pushed her to make this decision. She claimed that many problems had piled up at home, especially around chores like cleaning dishes and taking out the trash. She also mentioned having constant arguments that never seemed to go anywhere. Dawn also mentioned that her kids kept breaking their phones, and she had been forced to buy them new ones. And so, she decided to cancel Christmas.
In her TikTok, Dawn said, “I’m not giving my kids a Christmas this year for no other reason than they don’t deserve it. And they’re my kids. I know my kids. I’ve seen what they’ve done all year, and they don’t deserve it. They’ve literally got on my nerve[s] for the last 365 days.”
Why some parents are dropping the “perfect Christmas” routine
Dawn isn’t the first or even the only parent feeling the pressure of Christmas. A national poll by the University of Michigan’s C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital found that 20% of parents believe their child has unrealistic expectations for the festive season. The same survey also found that 28% of parents feel as though they set unrealistic expectations for themselves over Christmas, while 20% think their own holiday stress negatively impacted their child’s enjoyment.
Between gift lists and family expectations, many parents feel as though Christmas is simply too much work. Without the effort from their children every other 364 days of the year, these parents feel driven to cancel Christmas.
The previous trend
One previous case of canceling Christmas came in December 2014. A Utah-based mom named Lisa Henderson suffered from similar issues to Dawn, claiming that her kids were being too entitled. Her family canceled gifts after “a particularly bad display” of behavior.
What did they do instead? According to Henderson, the family took the money they would’ve spent on presents and put it toward service projects. They decided they’d give gifts to other people during the season, rather than to their supposedly “ungrateful” children.
Santa’s skipping some houses
Those doing the same as Dawn have decided that Christmas won’t disappear completely. Instead, they make Santa a genuine part of rule-setting, and they refuse to give their kids presents if their behavior doesn’t improve. Parents who are worried about their kids becoming entitled use Christmas as a pressure point. Why? Because kids already care deeply about it.
Parents have used Christmas as leverage for many years, even long before TikTok was invented. But it’s only relatively recently that many have started putting their words into action by actually canceling Christmas. Some of them have gone as far as writing a letter from Santa or an elf that says the kid’s behavior isn’t acceptable, and Christmas has been canceled.
Turning discipline into a public performance
But not everyone agrees with canceling Christmas. One big complaint is with how some parents announce online that they’re going to cancel Christmas, and then update strangers on how it’s going. Critics argue that discipline stops being about the kid at that point. Now, the focus has become reactions and views, with the child’s behavior becoming content.
Some people say that crosses a line because the parent doesn’t actually care about the kid learning from their mistakes or trying to improve. They simply want content that’ll help them to go viral.
It rewards compliance
There are also those who question what kids are actually learning from canceling Christmas. They argue that doing so turns the message into “do what I say or you lose stuff.” They say that such behavior can create surface-level obedience in kids, rather than real responsibility.
The kids behave enough to get their gifts back. They don’t actually learn the error of their ways, meaning that they’re back to their old behavior once the pressure is gone, perhaps even shortly after Christmas is over. Is that really learning?
7 Christmas Traditions Families Swear They’ll Never Skip Again
Quite a few of these traditions make a sudden return the following year because the switch ended up feeling rather strange. Here are 7 Christmas traditions that families swear they’ll never skip again.
7 Christmas Traditions Families Swear They’ll Never Skip Again