Not all smiles mean sincerity, and not everyone who calls you “bestie” actually has your back. Some people stick around for their own benefit—whether it’s gossip, convenience, or pure ego. The worst part? Fake friends don’t necessarily show their colors right away. They blend in, making you second-guess yourself until you are completely drained and frustrated.
If any of these 16 signs sound familiar, you might be dealing with someone who was never really your friend to begin with.
They Only Text You When They Need Something
You haven’t talked to them in months, but all of a sudden they are blowing your phone. They need a favor. They need advice. They need to borrow something. But do they check in on you when nothing’s in it for them? Nope. A genuine friend does not use you like a vending machine.
They Talk About You Behind Your Back
Here’s the cold hard truth: if they’re spilling everyone else’s secrets to you, they’re spilling yours to someone else too. A friend who gossips about other people behind their backs isn’t being a friend — they’re collecting and sharing drama. If their mouth is working overtime all the time, know this — you’re next.
They Compete With You — Subtly
You share with them good news, and instead of hyping you, they give you a “That’s cool, but guess what I did?” Fake friends don’t celebrate with you — they see you as a competition. It’s not a friendship; it’s a lowkey rivalry in disguise. If they’re always trying to “one-up” you, then you seriously need to back off.
They Flake On You—Every. Single. Time.
If making plans with them feels like a gamble, they don’t respect your time. They’re always “so busy”—until something better comes along. Newsflash: Nobody is that busy. If they cared, they’d be there.
They Disappear When You Need Them Most
Going through a breakup? Struggling with something big? And suddenly… radio silence. But the second you are good again, here they come acting like nothing happened. A real friend sticks around even when things get really ugly.
They Secretly Enjoy Your Struggles
You can feel it. When you’re down bad, they act a little too indifferent—or worse, smug. It’s not that they want you to fail… but they do not hate it either. A real friend hurts when you hurt.
They Make Backhanded “Jokes” at Your Expense
“Oh my God, I love that you don’t care about how you look.” This is not a compliment. When someone continues to mask insults with “humor,” then they aren’t being funny. They’re gauging how much disrespect you will accept.
They Love You in Private, Ignore You in Public
One-on-one, they are friendly and warm and act like your best supporter. With a crowd, however, they act like you don’t exist. They might even join in when others are making fun of you. A real friend is always consistent no matter who is present. If they keep you a secret, then they are not a friend—they can be anything but a friend.
They Don’t Support Your Growth
The moment you try to level up, they start acting weird. Whether a new relationship, a new career, or better habits, a fake friend will secretly try to bring you down—because your growth makes them insecure.
They Keep Score in the Friendship
True friends don’t keep records of everything that they have ever done for you. If they remind you all the time about all that you “owe them,” then they’re not being kind—they’re keeping leverage. Friendship shouldn’t feel like a debt.
They Don’t Defend You When It Matters
If someone talks trash about you in front of them, they go silent or—worse yet—join in. Friends don’t sit back and see you being torn apart. If they don’t stand up for you, then they don’t really value you enough.
They’re Fine with You Being “Good” — but Not Better
Your glow-up shouldn’t make a real friend uncomfortable. But a fake friend? They’re cool with you doing “okay” — as long as it is not better than them. If your success suddenly makes them distant or judgemental, it’s not friendship. It’s hidden envy.
They Never Apologize—Or They Fake It
A real friend recognizes when they have done something wrong and takes responsibility. A fake friend will gaslight you into believing you were wrong or give a half-hearted “Sorry you felt that way.” If they can’t admit fault, they don’t deserve to be your friend. Period.
They Only Like You When You’re “Chill”
Have you ever noticed how much they love you when you’re easy-going and you’re having fun—but as soon as you set a boundary, they pull away? Yeah, that is not a friend. That is someone who likes what you can do for them, not who you are.
They’re Different Around Certain People
If they act one way with you but switch up in front of other people, that’s a red flag. A real friend is consistent. If they’re fake around others, they’re probably fake to you too.
You Just Feel It
Listen, your gut doesn’t lie. If you always feel drained, uncomfortable, or undervalued in their presence, believe that. A real friend makes you feel safe, loved, and appreciated. A fake one makes you doubt yourself.
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