Back then, cool didn’t mean curated Instagram feeds or sneaker drops; it meant real danger and doing things your mom probably wouldn’t approve of. If you walked through school with the right gear, the right ‘do, and the right Walkman, you ruled the hallway in the ’80s. If you had even a few of these 17 things, kudos — you were actually cool, and likely still sort of are.
A Trapper Keeper That Was Loud and Proud
The more raucous your Trapper Keeper was, the greater your hallway credibility. Neon hues, Velcro strips, and patterns that resembled Lisa Frank on acid? Instant cool points. Double cool if yours had a pouch for your pencils and a bubblegum eraser scent.
Having a Walkman… and Actually Playing It
You didn’t just own a Walkman—you wore it like a crown. Wires dangling. Mixtape loaded and ready. If others could hear that tape click as it rewound, they knew you had class. Extra points if it was yellow and waterproof. Owning a Walkman meant you possessed personality in your pocket.
Wearing a Swatch Watch — or Two
One Swatch was rad. Two? Classic. These colourful plastic watches were not only for keeping time — they were wrist candy that shouted, “Yes, I do have style AND a curfew.” Stack ’em if you dare. Bonus cred if they coordinated your scrunchie.
Knowing the Lyrics to Every Michael Jackson Song
Whatever your moonwalking skills were in the hallway or whether you simply mouthed “Annie, are you OK?” at recess, MJ’s knowledge was non-negotiable. If you knew every beat drop and every glove moment? Huge Respect. Bonus points if you attempted the Thriller dance at school assembly.
Knowing How to Solve (or Fake-Solve) a Rubik’s Cube
Even if you had no idea what you were doing, mere possession is a Rubik’s Cube made you seem smart and cool. If you could fake a solution by taking off the stickers and putting them back on? Genius-level trickery.
Flexing Your Big Hair
If your bangs held the power to lift to heaven and survive a windstorm, you were invincible. If you had feathered Farrah Fawcett layers or mall bangs with Aqua Net, the height of your hair was a direct measure of your popularity.
Wearing Sunglasses… Indoors
Corey Hart wasn’t kidding: “I wear my sunglasses at night.” And we obeyed. Indoors? Cloudy day? Irrelevant. Dark glasses = mystery, edge, and a dash of rebellion. Throw in that classic ’80s aviator style and boom—you were strutting slow-mo in your own private music video.
Owning at Least One Piece of Hypercolor Clothing
Who cared about sweat stains showing — if your shirt would change color when you touched it, then you were the future. Hypercolor was science, magic, and fashion all in one strange, sweaty move. And we all loved it.
Wearing Fingerless Gloves for No Reason
Were you headed to a concert? A fight? A fingerless glove convention? No one had a clue. But if you were wearing black mesh gloves like Madonna or studded gloves like Billy Idol, you weren’t just cool — you were volatile and a little bit dangerous (in a PG sense).
Wearing a Denim Jacket with a Band Patch (or 10)
If you wore an Iron Maiden or Duran Duran patches on your denim jacket, you were either artsy, edgy, or both. The more patches, pins, and enigma stains? The more street cred. Especially if you would feign familiarity with what all the bands really sang.
Roller Skating Like You Meant It
Cool kids didn’t simply skate — they glided. Leg warmers, sparkly laces, and rink choreography, and you might as well have been a budget pop sensation. If you were able to skate in reverse while flirting? Elite.
Having a Mom Who Let You Watch R-Rated Movies
Other children were stuck with Care Bears. You? By age 9, you knew all the lines to The Terminator. You were reciting Scarface on the playground and emotionally scarring your cousins. That wasn’t cool — that was legendary. And perhaps accounts for a few trust issues today.
Showing Up to School with a Rat Tail or Mullet
If you sported a mullet, a rat tail, or (God forbid) both, you were not just hip, you were an actual rebel. Hair had nothing to do with aesthetics, but with dominance. And the longer the tail, the stronger your grip on the social ladder.
Bringing Garbage Pail Kids to Show-and-Tell
Forget Hot Wheels and Barbies — the actual MVPs had vomit-themed trading cards and pulled it off. If your stack of Garbage Pail Kids made the teacher hold her pearls, you were a success. You were the disturbed cool kid, one of its kind.
Having a Ridiculously High Ponytail with a Scrunchie
The taller the ponytail, the more Madonna-like. If your scrunchie coordinated with your outfit, you were cool and coordinated. Extra cool points for side ponytails—particularly if you were able to spin bubblegum while delivering side-eye. It was a declaration that shouted, “I run this playground.”
Being the Kid Who Had a Key Around Their Neck
Latchkey child? Hell yes. If you had your own house key and sole TV remote control privileges by the age of 10, you were an adult. You cooked your own microwave pizza, did whatever the heck you wanted to watch, and were cool AF.
Getting Sent Home for Wearing a Shirt with a Skull On It
If your clothes put adults on edge, you were on the right track. If it was a Misfits t-shirt, a Slayer patch, or simply something that read “RADICAL” in blood-droplet script, you intimidated authority figures. And nothing’s cooler than that.
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18 Things Every ’80s Kid Learned the Hard Way
17 Items Everyone Owned in the ’80s
If you didn’t have at least 10 of these, were you even alive during that time? From weird gadgets to fashion disasters, we proudly rocked, here are 17 things literally EVERYBODY owned in the ’80s – and yep, they were all a bit unhinged… for all the right reasons.
17 Items Everyone Owned in the ’80s