You love them. You do. But then there comes a point in every adult child’s life where you just want to scream: “Mum, Dad… STOP.” You’re not a teenager anymore. You pay bills, file returns, maybe even have children of your own—and yet they still act like you’re 12. Some of these habits are just toxic, some are just downright obsolete, and some are inadvertently hurtful. Here are the top things adult children are pleading with their parents to stop doing — before we all collectively lose our minds.
Calling at 6 AM to Discuss Absolutely Nothing
We get it, you’ve been up since dawn, guzzling coffee, and reading neighborhood gossip. But that doesn’t mean we wish to wake up to your incessant monologue about what Mrs. Patel’s dog did or what the weatherman forecasted regarding tomorrow’s rain. Let us sleep!
Guilt-Tripping Us Over Visits
“I guess you’re too busy for your old mum…” isn’t sweet. It’s manipulating. We’re juggling work, rent, children, mental health, and a million other things. Guilt is not a good reason to connect. It makes visits compulsory, not love.
Giving Unsolicited Advice
Not every conversation must end with a TED Talk. We did not ask how you would’ve done it. Sometimes we just need a listener, not a speech. Trust us to make our own mistakes. We’ve earned that privilege.
Stop Comparing Us to Cousins We Barely Know
“Oh, did you hear about your cousin James? He just bought a house, and he’s younger than you…” Add eye twitch. We know you think you’re being supportive, but really, you’re just making us resent James. We’re on our own path, and hearing about how wonderful everyone else is doesn’t magically improve our credit rating or give us a down payment on a house.
Oversharing Our Business
Stop sharing with Aunt Sheila our breakup, our therapy, or that rash we talked about once. Just because we shared it secretly with you does not make it family dinner gossip. Boundaries, please.
Stop Commenting on Our Weight Every Time You See Us
“Have you put on a bit of weight?” “Blimey, you look really thin, is everything all right?” NO. STOP. Our bodies are not your small talk subject or something you have to scrutinise like we are cattle at auction. We’re aware of how we look. We wake up and deal with this body every day. Perhaps a simple “Hi, good to see you!” and the scale can be omitted.
Making Passive-Aggressive Comments About Our Lifestyle
Whatever our tattoos, food, or messy flat, keep the snide remarks to yourself. We’re not adolescent rebels, we’re grown-ups choosing our way of life. You don’t need to get it, but a bit of respect would not hurt, right?
Treating Grandkids As a Do-Over
We appreciate how much you love your grandbabies, but do not use them as a second opportunity to “fix” your parenting. No, they don’t require stricter rules or more screen time, “like when you were around.” Let us parent without the backseat driving.
Bringing Up Old Mistakes
Mentioning that one thing we did at 17? Let it go. We already thrashed ourselves about it. Bringing it up does not teach us anything – it simply opens wounds. Growth occurs when the past remains in the past.
Expecting Instant Replies
If we don’t respond to your call or message within 10 minutes, it isn’t because we’re dead – we’re working, driving, perhaps just exhausted. Repeatedly following up with “???” or “HELLO?” only generates anxiety.
Stop Treating Our Relationships Like Reality TV
We’re dating, learning things, sometimes screwing up. But you don’t get to interrogate us about when we’re moving in with each other, why we’re not engaged after three years, or if we’re ever going to give you grandbabies. And you certainly don’t get to dish about our relationship status with Aunt Linda the moment we hang up.
Stop Showing Up Unannounced Like It’s 1992
We love you… but boundaries, remember those? We don’t want to open the door and discover you bearing a pie with no warning whatsoever. We have lives, chaos, perhaps some dubious stuff on the couch. Call first. Text first. Anything.
Assuming We Can Drop Everything
Need us to move a couch? Help you fix the Wi-Fi? Babysit for an hour “quickly”? We want to be there, but expecting that we are always available just because we’re your kid isn’t fair. Ask, don’t demand.
Acting Hurt When We Set Boundaries
“No, I can’t talk right now.” “No, I don’t want to discuss that.” These aren’t personal attacks – they’re healthy boundaries. Stop taking our emotional growth as rejection. It’s not about pushing you away, it’s about preserving our peace.
Stop Using Social Media as a Family Newsletter
Oh, you shared with your whole social group that we got a new job? On Facebook with a bad photo, we loathe? Awesome. Next time, perhaps ask us first before making us the topic of your feed. Our lives are not your personal bragging rights or holiday letter material.
Stop Projecting Your Regrets and Old Dreams Onto Us
Just because you regret that you traveled more, or became a doctor, or learned the violin, doesn’t mean we should get back on your train. We’re not your second chance at life. We’re struggling to create our own weird, bumpy roads — and we don’t want to be shaped into the person you think you might’ve been.
Stop Making Everything About You
Sometimes we simply want to talk. Vent. Complain. And rather than listening, you turn it around to how you did it worse, or how you felt the same, or how this concerns you. It’s draining. Let us have our moment. Simply listen and be present — that’s all we sometimes want.
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