You ever hear someone say, “It’s the little things that count”? Well, the same goes for the little lies, the ones that become part of everyday conversations and don’t necessarily cause fireworks. They might even seem harmless at first. Until they’re not. Here are eighteen small lies that can ruin long-term relationships and how.
I’m Fine With Your Family
Here’s the thing. Pretending your partner’s dad doesn’t drive you absolutely up the wall isn’t doing anyone any favors, so you should stop faking it. That simmering tension will show up eventually, usually around Thanksgiving. And when your partner asks why you’re being weird, you’ll have to either spill everything or keep giving them more fake smiles on top of the last ones, which just gets tiring.
That Doesn’t Bother Me
Something does bother you, but you don’t wanna look “extra,” so you shrug it off by saying, “That doesn’t bother me”…again. But a few months later, you explode over something as small as a dishwasher setting and then comes the awkward silence, along with questions about where that came from. Now, you’re not just upset about the dishwasher. You’re mad they didn’t magically read your mind six months ago.
I Don’t Care What Restaurant We Go to
At first, saying, “I don’t care what restaurant we go to,” seems easygoing. But fast forward three years, and your partner still thinks you love that sushi place you actually can’t stand. If you had just said you weren’t into raw fish from the beginning, you wouldn’t be sitting there trying to swallow seaweed without gagging. The longer you pretend, the harder it is to backtrack, so just be honest.
That Didn’t Hurt My Feelings
It doesn’t matter how many times you say, “That didn’t hurt my feelings,” if it did, because it won’t make you feel any better. The truth is that you just didn’t want to talk about it. Every time it happens again, it affects how safe you feel about being around one another, and the more you act like nothing gets to you, the more you start believing you’re not allowed to be sensitive. Then your partner doesn’t learn how to be gentle with you because they never knew they needed to.
I Didn’t See That Text
Look, if your phone was in your hand the whole time, both of you know that you saw the notification, even if you claim, “I didn’t see that text.” Blaming “weird signal” or “too many notifications” may buy time, but once it’s a habit, it’ll ruin your sense of trust. It also won’t go down well when they see you’ve been posting memes on Instagram while “missing” their message. Being honest and saying, “I needed a minute,” works better.
I Don’t Care If You Talk to Your Ex
So many people say, “I don’t care if you talk to your ex,” with a fake sense of enthusiasm, although the truth is that it’s actually bugging them. Maybe it’s not jealousy. Maybe it’s just discomfort. Either way, pretending everything’s okay when it’s not is a recipe for disaster, which means that every conversation about the ex feels loaded. If it bugs you, it’s better to say so than act like you’re made of stone.
I Didn’t Tell Anyone
You said, “I didn’t tell anyone,” but your best friend definitely knows, and probably their other friend, too. If your partner finds out that you didn’t keep their thing a secret, they’ll start to doubt whether they can trust you with anything else, no matter if you told someone just to “vent.” It feels like a breach of trust, and once they realize their stuff is out there, they stop sharing.
I’m Just Tired
Maybe you were tired. But maybe also you just didn’t want to talk or be asked why you’re in a weird mood, which is why you hid behind the sentence, “I’m tired.” You disappear behind that excuse so often that eventually, they stop asking, and you’re left wondering one day why they don’t seem interested anymore. It’s not because they don’t care. It’s because they got tired of being told you were too tired to connect.
That’s Just How I Am
“I’m just messy,” or “I don’t do emotions.” That’s okay, but using these claims to avoid any effort by saying, “That’s just how I am,” isn’t okay. If your partner keeps asking for the same thing, and you keep hiding behind your personality like it’s a shield, that “quirk” turns into a problem. Nobody’s asking you to become someone else. It’s just that they want you to meet them halfway. Don’t be surprised if they start pulling away.
I Don’t Need Anything for My Birthday
Oh please. You say, “I don’t need anything for my birthday,” and then quietly hope for a surprise picnic or cute dinner out, even though your partner took it to mean you wanted to skip things this year. Then, you’re left wondering how they “forgot,” even though you literally told them to. It would’ve taken two seconds to tell them that you’d prefer a meal together instead of hiding the truth from them.
I Always Support You
“I always support you,” sure sounds sweet and supportive. But if it’s all talk and no action, it starts to feel hollow, as they don’t see you giving them encouragement or showing up. They’ll soon stop bringing up their ideas or sharing their wins because it always feels like a one-person celebration. Of course, you don’t need to be cheering them on every second, but saying “I support you” means nothing if you’re never actually there.
I’m Not Jealous
You saw the message, and you noticed the tone. You didn’t like it. But instead of saying, “That made me feel weird,” you shrugged and said, “I’m not jealous,” then you were cold for the rest of the day. It’s not because anything major happened but because you didn’t say how you actually felt when you had the chance. They’re left guessing, and you’re frustrated.
I Don’t Mind If You Go Without Me
You said, “Go ahead, have fun,” but you didn’t actually want them to go without you. It’s just that you didn’t want to sound needy. Instead, you’re stuck at home wondering who’s there and what’s happening, as well as why they didn’t insist you come. The next time, they don’t ask, and it becomes a pattern you helped create just because you said, “I don’t mind if you go without me.”
I Didn’t Mean It Like That
Instead of just owning a bad comment, you try to explain by lying and saying, “I didn’t mean it like that.” But the more you explain, the more it sounds like you’re trying to avoid responsibility for a joke that hit too hard or perhaps something you said in the wrong tone. Either way, brushing it off makes the other person feel like you’re ignoring how it made them feel while saying “Yeah, I messed up” would’ve been much better.
I’m Not Mad
You say, “I’m not mad,” while giving your partner short answers and avoiding eye contact. Now, the whole room feels weird, and your partner’s trying to figure out if they should say something or wait it out. This kind of lie doesn’t stay hidden. It reveals itself in the way that you close doors and the way you eat dinner, even in the way you end the night. Everyone knows something’s off. You just won’t admit it.
I’m Over It
Likewise, you say, “I’m over it,” but then you keep circling back to it, although it might not be directly. You do it in little ways. For example, a comment here, a passive-aggressive jab there, and it all adds up to show that you’re not actually fine. You’re trying to act like it’s behind you, but it’s not. It never really was. You’re carrying it around, and your anger is starting to show up in places it doesn’t belong.
I Already Took Care of It
You didn’t do it, but saying “I already took care of it” bought you some time, but now it’s back, and you’re cornered. They’re asking for the thing you said was finished, so now you’ve got to admit you lied and explain why it’s still not done. What could’ve been as simple as saying, “I forgot,” is now a whole conversation about trust, and the next time they ask, they’ll feel like they have to double-check.
I Haven’t Talked to Them Since
While you said you cut contact and “I haven’t talked to them since,” the truth is that you didn’t. But the texts didn’t stop. By then, it was too late to bring it up without sounding shady, so you said nothing. Eventually, your phone lights up at the wrong time, or they see a name they weren’t supposed to, and that means the lie didn’t stay a secret. It just created a mess you weren’t ready to clean up.
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