Fights aren’t fun. Sometimes you’re arguing with someone you love, and while you might think you’re right, words slip out that make things way worse. Here are 18 things you should never say during a fight, no matter how right you might be. They’re phrases that are only ever going to cause more trouble than they’re worth.
“Well, technically…”
You might think you’re helping by adding a little factual correction. However, saying “technically” in the middle of a fight is only going to make the other person feel bad, and it makes the fight centered around accuracy instead of emotion. The other person will think that their feelings don’t matter. Worse still, it also comes off like you’ve been waiting to prove them wrong, rather than actually listening, and nobody enjoys being corrected when they’re upset.
“You always do this when you’re around your friends.”
People saying this are always being too judgy. It gives off the kind of energy that just shuts people down, as it makes the fight about their social behavior instead of the actual issue. It also drags their friends into it, even though they’re not involved. Now, the other person will feel like you’re accusing them of putting on a show or acting fake. The original topic? It’s completely lost.
“Why are you even mad? I’m the one who should be upset.”
With this phrase, you’re essentially telling the other person their feelings don’t count, so now the argument becomes about who’s allowed to feel things. Such a statement turns the whole thing into a contest. As such, you won’t be able to make any progress, and the other person will likely start thinking that they’re being told how to feel. Setting the record straight simply makes the conversation colder and more competitive.
“I guess I just care more than you do.”
Here’s a phrase that sounds emotional, but it’s actually a form of guilt-tripping. You’re accusing the other person of checking out, and that sort of behavior doesn’t usually bring out the best in anyone. It implies you’re the only one putting in effort, which is rarely true. Honestly, if you cared that much, you’d probably want to actually solve the issue, rather than just win points.
“Everyone warned me about you.”
Now, you’re dragging everyone into this argument, and it means the person you’re fighting with is suddenly being judged by a group of people who aren’t even there. It makes them feel ganged up on. Whether or not those warnings actually happened, bringing it up makes it sound like you’ve had one foot out the door the whole time, which is never good. Keep private conflicts private.
“You’re being sensitive again.”
Telling someone this is a fast way to make them feel as though they’re “too much.” It doesn’t matter if you think they’re overreacting, using the word “again” just rubs salt in the wound and tells them that their feelings are annoying. That puts them in a spot where they either shut down completely or try to over-explain. Either way, it doesn’t help.
“Fine, then just leave.”
A saying like this sounds dramatic, and that’s because it is. It’s usually the kind of thing people blurt out when they want control, yet feel like they’re losing it, although they don’t usually mean it. That’s what makes it so bad. Even if it’s simply an empty threat, it still hits hard, and it’s impossible to backpedal from it once you’ve said it. At least without sounding fake.
“I didn’t say that. You’re remembering it wrong.”
Fights and memory don’t work well together, and while you might swear you never said that thing, saying this sounds like you’re calling them delusional. That stops the pair of you from fixing what’s wrong, and instead, you’re stuck arguing over who has the better memory. It slows the argument down. Now, you’re debating timelines and exact phrasing, rather than dealing with the actual issue.
“Oh, now you care?”
Nothing ends a conversation faster than a sarcastic comment like this one. It’s less about communication and more about poking the bear, daring them to prove they care. But guess what? Most people won’t take that bait kindly. You’re killing any attempts to engage in a conversation, and it makes them feel like you’ve already decided they don’t care. Now, there’s no point in talking.
“You sound just like your mother/father.”
This one’s a harsh one because it hits way below the belt and usually ends badly. You’ve just compared them to someone that they’ve likely spent their whole life trying not to become. Family stuff runs quite deep. As such, bringing it up in the middle of a fight could open a whole different can of stress. You’re not solving the problem.
“I was just joking.”
Despite the fact that you said you were joking, you weren’t really. And even if you were, that joke clearly didn’t go down well, and saying this won’t make someone’s hurt feelings suddenly disappear. It’s merely a way to avoid accountability while still getting the last word. People remember how they felt more than what you said, meaning that a phrase like this simply creates more frustration.
“You wouldn’t last a day dealing with what I deal with.”
Congratulations, now it’s a competition of who’s been hurt more, and honestly, there are no winners with that. It doesn’t help your point. You’re simply telling the other person they’ve never had it hard, which probably isn’t true, and the focus is on comparing misery. You might be feeling genuinely overwhelmed, yet saying this makes the other person feel small or dismissed.
“I knew you’d react like this.”
With a saying like this one, the other person feels as though no reaction they give will ever be good enough. They’re not allowed to feel sad or mad, because apparently, you’ve already written the script. This forces the other person to do things they never really wanted to do, while also making them seem predictable and hard to deal with. It’s as frustrating as it sounds.
“This is exactly why no one likes talking to you.”
Ouch. What a punch in the throat. Rather than simply fighting, you’ve begun to publicly share with each other, which is why you should never say this, even if it’s something you overheard once from a friend or a random vent session. You make it seem like everyone’s been talking trash behind their back, and this feeling of rejection sticks around way longer than the argument.
“Let’s not pretend you’re innocent.”
This sentence turns your fight into a conversation about who-did-what, meaning that the argument’s no longer about the thing that started it. Now it’s about everything both of you have ever done wrong, which throws everything off the rails. You’re not helping. Instead, you’re moving the focus so you don’t have to stay on your own stuff.
“Do whatever you want, I don’t care anymore.”
No one says this calmly. It comes out rather harshly, and it’s usually when you’re tired of repeating yourself. You’re frustrated and maybe fed up. But saying this won’t end the fight, and it simply encourages the other person to give up on everything. Chances are, you probably do care, but now you’ve told them you don’t. That’s confusing. It makes them wonder if you mean it, or if they’re supposed to guess.
“You’re just trying to win.”
Here’s another phrase that turns the argument into a game, and not in a fun way. You’re essentially accusing them of fighting for the sake of being right, and once that’s out there, nothing they say sounds genuine. It all becomes part of a strategy. When they’re trying to explain their side, you’ve painted them as a sore winner and made it clear that you think the whole thing is just a power trip. That’s not going to calm anyone down.
“Wow, you’ve really changed.”
There’s no version of this phrase that doesn’t hurt. Of course, people change, and that’s kind of the point of being alive. But when you use this in a fight, what you’re really saying is that you liked how the other person was before. That’s not helpful. You’re not moving the conversation forward, and instead, you’re telling them that they’re worse now than they used to be.
“You said this wouldn’t happen again.”
So they messed up again, maybe after they promised they wouldn’t, and maybe you believed them. But yelling this in the middle of a fight suggests that you’ve been holding onto this issue and waiting to throw it in their face for ages. Really, it doesn’t matter if it’s true. When you say it this way, everyone becomes defensive because nobody listens when they feel like they’re being judged.
“This is why I can’t tell you anything.”
This phrase tells the other person that they’re unsafe and hard to talk to. You’re indicating that they’ll never take anything well. Sure, you might be saying it from a real place of fear or frustration, but it comes out sounding cold, and it causes the conversation to screech to a stop. Now, they’re stuck trying to defend how they react instead of actually dealing with the issue.
19 Signs Your Spouse May Be Falling Out of Love
They still kiss you goodbye, but is it out of habit? Love doesn’t erupt in a bang—it fades, slowly, silently, in ways you don’t always notice until it’s too late. If your gut is telling you something’s wrong, pay attention. Here are 19 unexpected signs your spouse might be falling out of love.
19 Signs Your Spouse May Be Falling Out of Love
17 Things Men Never Notice That Women Always Remember
It’s no secret that guys miss stuff. Not because they’re trying to, but simply because they don’t always recognize the same things that women do, and they let things slide right by. Let’s look at 17 things men never notice that women always remember and why. This doesn’t necessarily involve keeping tabs. They’re just facts.
17 Things Men Never Notice That Women Always Remember