Parenting is not so much about keeping the children in one piece and bread in their bellies. It’s about giving them the kind of habits, memories, and mindset that will actually last — even if they pretend to despise you for it at the time. From hard love to seemingly little things that are invisible to you today, here are 17 underhyped moves your kids will roll their eyes at today… and thank you for it tomorrow.
Giving Them Chances to Fail Without Doing It for Them
You saw them cry over a poor grade or how they weren’t very good at something — and you didn’t intervene and rescue them. You let them feel. That resilience you let them build? It’s emotional armor. They’ll owe you one every time the world knocks them around, and they don’t break.
Making Them Do Chores
Yes, they complained. Flung doors. But practicing cleaning the toilet, folding clothes, and showing up for the family wasn’t a chore—it was accountability. You brought up a team player, not an entitled boss. Their flatmates or spouse will someday thank you quietly, too.
Teaching Them to Say “No”
You never just let them be people-pleasers. You taught them boundaries — actual ones. You taught them they don’t owe anyone their time, energy, or comfort. One day, when they leave a terrible relationship or step out of a soul-sucking job, they’ll say under their breath, “Thanks, Mum.”
Letting Them Be Bored
You didn’t turn them into 24/7 entertainers. You allowed them to sit quietly, invent games, gaze up at ceilings, and scratch with nothing-to-do. Now their imagination is strong, creativity out of control — and they’re not afraid of a little silence.
Not Giving Them Everything They Wanted
You weren’t setting out to destroy their lives – you were showing them that actual life doesn’t award participation trophies. And one day, when they get rejected or are told “no” by the world, they’ll already have the emotional resilience to deal with it. You equipped them for grit, not gift-wrapped fantasies.
Teaching Them How to Apologise Properly
You never made “Sorry” an afterthought word. You showed them that real apologies are tied to responsibility. That sincere “I was wrong” wins out over blame. They’ll enter workplaces and relationships with the knowledge of how to mend – rather than flee.
Giving Them Home-Cooked Rather Than Takeout
You didn’t prepare Pinterest dinners. But they were raised on food that represented love — no matter if it was burned toast, cereal for dinner, or overcooked rice. They’ll remember the laughter, not the taste. That, right there, is soul food.
Making “Please” and “Thank You” Non-Negotiable
You didn’t turn them into royalty. They learned to say please, thank you, and make eye contact. Now they get compliments on the job, and good service, and are the rare adults who are not a total jerk in public.
Being Honest About Your Mistakes
You never lied and said you were perfect. You owned up to your mistakes, your regrets, your “I wish I’d been smarter.” That showed them that it is possible to be strong and vulnerable simultaneously and that failure doesn’t equate to being broken. That’s emotional safety, and that doesn’t come naturally.
Not Letting Them Quit Everything
Yes, they were going to leave piano after 3 lessons and the team after one losing game. But you kept them going. Now they know what commitment is — not everything is fun, but you don’t quit when it gets tough. You quit when it’s no longer interesting and when they take on a different interest.
Nurturing Their Quirks
You allowed them to wear the cape to the grocery store. You kept their eccentric fascinations. You never attempted to box them up. Now? They’re secure, quirky, and unapologetic for being themselves — because you made “weird” standard and awesome.
Limiting Their Screen Time (Even When It Stunk)
They argued about it. You were called the fun police. But you were protecting their brain, their focus, their creativity. And when they are older and have fewer doomscrolls and more book memories, board game memories, and hours of argument? They will finally get it.
Demonstrating Love in the Uninspiring, Everyday Things
You made the lunches. You folded the socks. You reminded them 400 times to wear a jacket. It wasn’t glamorous, but it was love — the kind that is present, unobtrusively, every single day. They’ll remember and feel that.
Talking About Real-Life Issues
You didn’t hold back. You talked about racism, heartbreak, addiction, consent—without script and guilt-free. You didn’t make the world more terrifying, you made them more knowledgeable. And someday, they’ll be the ones doing the teaching, because of you.
Making Tough Calls on Friendships
You saw that one friend who drained the life out of them. The crew that made them small. And even when they informed you that they despised you, you held firm. Someday, down the line, they will realize you weren’t taking over—you were protecting their dignity.
Guarding Their Peace, Not Just Their Grades
You never idolized the report card. You spotted their mood swings, you asked the hard questions, and you dragged them back from it when their sanity was in line. They may not have recognized it at the time—but they’ll see it someday: you were more interested in their peace of mind than in productivity.
Loving Them, Even When They Were Hard to Like
You didn’t quit when they were rude, obnoxious, messy, inconsiderate, or withdrawn. You stuck with them when things weren’t easy. You loved them more than you loved yourself. And one day — when they’re grown enough, nice enough, and old enough — they’ll say those loving words aloud: “You were my safe place. Thank you.”
16 Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissistic Parent
You had to earn love instead of just receiving it? If so, you might have been raised by a narcissistic parent—who lived to manipulate emotions, exercise control, and have everything revolve around them. These 16 signs will help you piece together the truth.
16 Signs You Were Raised by a Narcissistic Parent
19 Things Every Parent Should Say to Their Adult Kids
So if you’re a parent who’s survived the diaper duty, drama, and dorm drop-offs, it’s your turn to rewrite your script. These 19 loving, sometimes painful truths? Every grown-up child definitely needs to hear them.
19 Things Every Parent Should Say to Their Adult Kids